Bali is an island seeped in culture and traditions and therefore should you decide to Retire to Bali, then you need to have an understanding of the local customs and traditions and know how to react and how to behave so you have a peaceful, stress free and enjoyable lifestyle. The Balinese are welcoming and friendly to foreigners as long as you adapt to their style and follow their etiquette.
GREETINGS
Although modern Balinese shake hands as Westerners do, the traditional greeting is the “salam” where the palms are joined together and placed vertically against the chest. In this position, Balinese say, "Om Swastiastu" or "May peace be with you" to each other and it is always customary for you to follow suit.
SMILING
Bali is known as the “Land of the Living Smiles”. Balinese are naturally hospitable and interact by smiling at each other and this is why it’s a perfect place to choose for your retirement. The Balinese aren't wary of each other, so they smile openly and often. If you are in a group of Balinese, smile at everyone around you and you will be appreciated and accepted otherwise you will be considered “sombong” (a snob!). Be careful they also smile when they are nervous and or when you are angry, this can sometimes just infuriate you more. Be also wary that when a Balinese woman smiles at you it is just being friendly and should not be construed as anything else!
“BESOK” – (tomorrow)
Bali is a laid back island and things sometimes take time. For foreigners living in Bali this can sometime be frustrating when you want to get things done. “Sabar” – (Calm down) is a common phrase thrown at uptight foreigners, basically as a warning to accept the situation as it is. If you choose to live or retire in Bali you have to have some patience or it’s quite normal to have someone handle the bureaucracy for you.
“JAM KARET” – (rubber time)Punctuality is a rare thing in Bali. People will often arrive late to an appointment and will explain “Oh Macet!” (Traffic jam) whether it is real or not. This should not be misinterpreted as rude as it would be seen in the western culture. Jam Karet is ever present and it's simply an aspect of life when you live in Bali and is what gives the Island that unique magic making it calm and relaxed.
FINGER POINTINGYou should never use your index finger to point at people since it is considered as rude. Also standing with your legs apart is seen as a sign of aggression and can be interpreted that you are looking for a fight. If you want to beckon somebody your hand should be down. The gesture is more like what westerners would use for “slow down” with downward arm movements.
BEEPING YOUR HORN
Car and motorcycle horns can be heard all over Bali. In Indonesia as a whole if the horn is not working then the car or bike would be deemed unfit to drive. The horn gesture, unlike in the west, is simply to warn people you are there and with the number of cars and motorbikes on the road, the horn is used quite frequently to avoid collisions.
ASKING DIRECTIONS
Be sure to get google maps loaded on your phone! Many Balinese are often unclear as to directions and rather than tell you, “I don’t know”, would like to send you off in any direction so you can end up going around in circles all day long. Likewise if they are talking about somewhere they have been and you ask “where?” they will often reply “there”, not knowing exactly where they were!
HOW TO DRESS
Contrary to some beliefs there is an unwritten dress code. If you enter a government office inappropriately dressed wearing sandals and even shorts you will more than likely be thrown out and it is seen as a sign of utter disrespect to the authorities. When visiting a temple attendees you should dress appropriately. You need to wear at least a sarong covering your legs fully, and preferably cover your shoulders (no tank tops). Nudity and going topless is not accepted. Traditionally it was normal for women to be topless, as it is till today still portrayed in art and can be found in the villages still amongst the older generations. Therefore there is no topless sunbathing or exposure of any kind. Even male tourists riding with no shirt on motorbikes is deemed as offensive and rude, despite the number that do it.
NEVER LOOSE IT IN PUBLIC
If you are disappointed with a person or a service, show your dissatisfaction in private. You can ask the person to have a talk in a closed space, but never where there are other people who can see or hear you. Balinese people are very easily embarrassed and saving face is very important to them. Honor and respect the person’s dignity by telling the person your anger or displeasure when other people are not around.
TOILET HABITS
Many westerners can feel a little overwhelmed when it comes to the toilets. Although most modern facilities now have western styled toilets you will find that in traditional markets, public places and warungs they might just have the squat toilet. Even where there is a normal toilet you might find there is a bucket of water and a scoop. This is seen as a much more hygienic practice for cleaning as opposed to toilet paper. In more upmarket places the scoop is replaces with a jet hose. So if you want to keep to your old habits. Be sure to take toilet paper!
STATUS
Bali is comparably wealthy compared to other islands of Indonesia, most Balinese you will encounter live a very modest life. They will never make enough money to Holiday, in fact most of their holidays are used up for ceremonies and traditions. Many have not visited other islands let another visiting another country. Often it’s hard for them to grasp that visitors to Bali also live a middle class life too in their home countries. The lure to Bali is the lack of class and status, everyone is seen as equal and it’s important as visitors not to show off, or waste, or handle big amounts of money openly. Being modest and humble shows respect to the people who live and work in this developing country where low wages are standard and the social welfare system is barely existent. Any visitor is still regarded as rich, very rich, and to serve
THE BODY
According to them, the body is both pure in some parts and impure in others.
The head is the most sacred body part as it contains the door of Siva or the Fontanel through which the soul enters the body. You should not touch the head of a Balinese.Romantic gestures or emotions are never displayed in public, except lovers holding hands which is something the Balinese do openly, although this is not done in most parts of Indonesia or in the villages. Lovers don't kiss in public either, and visitors should also respect that for the Balinese those intimate gestures are not common.
From the navel downwards, the body is said to be impure. So, to point at something using your feet is for example regarded as insult.
The left hand is regarded as “dirty”. Usually people give and receive either with the right hand, or with both hands, while the left hand is kept slightly behind the right hand, without touching the other person.
RELIGION
Bali is 85% Hindu, religious ceremonies are not tourist events; visitors are welcomed to many special ceremonies, such as cremations of family members, weddings etc and it is appropriate for you to wear the full religious dress. This comprises a sarong covered with a selendang girdle and a udeng headdress. If a ritual takes place in front of you, linger behind instead of passing between the devout, or the priest or the shrines. Although taking photos of such events is allowed you should not use the flash. Always remember to smile to conform to Balinese culture. If you are ever confused or in doubt then smile at someone and ask what you should be doing.
OFFERINGS
The Balinese are very diligent about their religion, their temple, prayers and offerings (Canang).. The offerings are a sacred form of gratitude for what is and a wish for peace and abundance in the world. They are a representation of the Balinese people’s devotion to their (Hindu) gods, but at the core, these offerings are so much more. The time and effort taken to prepare the canang sari offerings honor a daily ritual of self-sacrifice, a spirit of thankfulness, and a significant attention to detail. You will find offerings at doorways, temples, family temples and in many modern facilities (restaurants, shops and cafes) with the strong sense of incense permeating out.
SUDAH MANDI? (already showered?)
A Balinese conversation starter can be “Sudah Mandi?” or “Sudah Makan?” (already eaten?) sometimes be “Have you taken a shower” – don’t take offense or take it that they think you smell! Balinese will take a “Mandi” (showers) at least twice a day, early in the morning and late in the afternoon after the sun goes down.
BODY MASS
Comments about your weight should not be seen as being offensive in starting a conversations. If you are on the heavy side they see this as you being happy and well fed, prosperous and being well looked after by your family or spouse. If they comment on how thin you are this is meant as a question as to “are you being looked after” and getting enough food and whether you are healthy.
SMP – Sudah Makan Pulang – (Eat and go Home)
People retire early, so a social visit is appropriate between sunset and 9 pm. Often after completion of dinner and some polite “chit chat” your guests will ask to be excused since staying too long is deemed as rude.
GIFTING
On formal occasions like weddings, new born child and tooth filing ceremonies, it is common to bring small gifts along, called oleh-oleh.
EATING
Balinese particularly in the villages and in the local warungs (local eateries) eat with their right hand and don’t use any cutlery. In the more modern households it is now common for them to you a fork and spoon and no knife.
VISITING
Before entering a home it is polite to remove your shoes. The Indonesians and Balinese are fanatical about cleanliness and even the most lowly house with no hard floors will be immaculate and swept regularly.
On arrival you are most commonly offered a water, cup of tea or coffee and a snack. Always beware of accepting “sugar” in your hot drink since they have a sweet tooth and you might end up wot more sugar than liquid! The correct etiquette is that you should neither eat nor drink until the host invites you to and it’s always polite to leave a little in your glass or on your plate to show that you have had sufficient and are not in need of more.
The Balinese usually sit cross-legged and love the floor more than chairs, except in modern homes so remember to do plenty of Yoga to get accustomed to it!
If you visit Balinese at home, they may want to give you a gift. Usually it is expected, that all gifts need to be returned and the more generous you are in this, the higher your social status.
Despite the many cultural differences and diversity, people are attracted to Bali for Holidays, to live or to retire in Bali. It’s the intangibles such as the calm way of life, genuine smiles from the Balinese people, their strong spiritual beliefs and strong sense of self-discipline as well as mutual respect that makes Bali a very unique and special place to Retire to.
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